don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
