her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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