that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
