The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize