When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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