i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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