I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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