Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Randomize
