I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
