I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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