Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
