The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
