Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
