whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
