Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize