I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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