We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
