i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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