I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
