new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
