he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
