first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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