Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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