Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
