Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
