somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
