sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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