So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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