dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
