His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
