yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
