Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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