what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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