We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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