So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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