What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
