I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Girls should come with a carfax report
two words: eviction party
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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