dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
