I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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