How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
