We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
wow bdsm is so cute
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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