Pappa wants mamma naked
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
