wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
