i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
