it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
