You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
