nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
