Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
