I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
