I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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