Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
