Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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