Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
