my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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