3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
