I look better un-naked...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
