there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize
