people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
