If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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