saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
