just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
