"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize