The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he was CRYING into my vagina
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
